Choosing Love

So I haven’t done one of these [unsolicited life advice disguised as a post about anime] sorta posts in literal years but I was watching Call of the Night moments before I decided to type this and felt compelled to write a little bit above love, in the romantic sense. I’ve probably referenced my perspective on the issue elsewhere on my site before, or otherwise on my bsky profile, but I feel quite strongly that: love is a choice, and this first episode of the new Call of the Night season helps put into perspective how exactly that works in a couple of scenes.

Without getting too bogged down in describing the exact sequence of events that led to it, the conversation between Kou and Nazuna where Kou, seized with the moral piety only Jesus’ disciples and 21st century teenagers are capable of, frames casual intimacy as incompatible with love, or otherwise impure. People getting into or seeking sexual relationships without having formed a romantic bond. But Nazuna’s response in questioning why it is he expects that they Can’t form a bond subsequently gives him a moment of pause. Why? Because it may not be ideal, it may not be dramatic, but: love isn’t dramatic. However you know someone, however it starts off, whatever kind of relationship you had prior – even as “just” friends, if you’re receptive to choosing a romantic commitment with that person, then you can find love. Maintaining that love of course entails making a series of choices, every day, but they’re not quite there yet.

In a way it also reminds me of Ayame from Blue Box, our favourite “serial monogamist.” She had the view that going out with people she wasn’t necessarily interested in, but that she could tell were sincerely interested in her (which by the way,,, not a faultless strategy), allowed her the opportunity to build the kind of bond she idealised and wanted to form. I think I’ve very often had the tendency to want to feel something earth-shattering when i look at someone, because you get fed the idea that true love has to be different, but you can make an ordinary day special by choosing to share it with someone, and you can make your relationship with them special as long as you choose to share your days with each other. Doesn’t mean you have to fake anything, obviously, just that it doesn’t necessarily take the level of initial interest you may imagine. And if your mutual choice doesn’t work out and you’re incompatible: you’ve gained something to take forward, to chart the path to something different, whether or not that entails another attempt at romance. A new perspective on yourself, what you want, and what you’d: give. You cohere aspects of yourself you wouldn’t have thought of when you’re confronted with those scenarios.

Another thing I appreciated quite a bit was the passing jab from Hatsuka to Nazuna, when he told her he figured she was much more interested in romance than the average person, and her fixation on dirty jokes was a way of masking it because she can’t be honest with herself. Like yeah, she does not have the courage to say what she wants to express so it’s always a joke, from the first episode of the first season all the way through to where we are now, she “jokes” about what’s on her mind and shies away when laughing it off isn’t an option. It’s like a much cuter version of Schrodinger’s asshole (that conjured an unfortunate mental image,,, but you get what I meant.) That’s only an extension of what I already talked about, she has to (as many of us have to,,,,) choose to confront what we think, and let it out while we still have the chance, even if it’s a little awkward. Regret is hard enough to live with, even worse when it’s regret over things you never said. Can be a basic complement, a desire, a confession, as long as it’s: sincere and you’re not (unduly) a weirdo about it. I love watching this all unfold and it’s got me really excited for the rest of this season and whatever else it may have to say about human relationship through the vector of the world’s strongest NEET (Nazuna herself) being forced to open her heart. This show was my reminder, and this post is Your reminder, to choose love, as much as you can, in whatever form you can, to be: sincere, because simply having the chance to is more valuable than you realise before that chance escapes you.